It’s been a few months since I’ve posted here, and if I’m completely honest, it’s been more than a few months since I’ve, you know, actually posted. My most recent posts were scheduled well in advance. Why?
At the end of April, I graduated undergrad. I graduated with High Honors on my honors thesis in Korean Studies, won a prestigious award for Korean Studies, nabbed a second major in International Studies, got a short story published in a college lit magazine, said goodbye to almost all my friends, and started working full-time a day after commencement ceremonies.
Adulting is hard.
It’s also terrifying because I’m doing two seemingly opposing things. One’s commended by everyone I meet. The other? Well, let’s just say not everyone understands why I’m doing it. Continue reading →
It’s been a ridiculous amount of time since I posted. Where have I been since then? I went to Korea for two months and studied at Yonsei University again, and then I came back, worked, and endured a semester filled with the turmoil that, well, each new semester seems to bring.
During that time, I started writing and sharing short stories (really, really short short stories written in poor Korean) on Instagram, purchased several more books in Korean, only one of which I have succeeded in finishing (not for lack of ability but for lack of motivation), started a Korean language study club with my friends, and did some serious soul-searching (I didn’t even make a bad pun – that must tell you how serious I am) about what I want to do after I finish undergrad.
Lately, everyone wants to know different things, like
When are you going back to Korea? Wait – you don’t know? YOU SAID THIS WAS YOUR DREAM.
Why do you keep going back to Korea? (Isn’t it time you stopped listening to Gayng-naym Style and chose a real major, Jamie?)
Internship? Internship? Internship?
????????????? Your dream career?
*awkward smiles at gatherings where everyone’s got their partner* So, are you seeing anyone these days?
Stahp just stahp 제발
I know my path hasn’t been entirely conventional. Most people wait until junior year to go abroad, and many people go during the summer rather than for a full semester, whereas I went for four months in fall 2014 and two months for summer 2015. And everybody does internships these days, and I haven’t done a single one.
I’ve tried to make sense of my varied interests. Writing, I love creative writing. I’d love to be a published author. I succeeded in finishing Nanowrimo last year WHILE studying abroad and my goal is to clean up that novel with some revisions and start beating on publisher’s doors with the manuscript (figuratively, of course).
Please let me in…
I also love making videos, even though I’m not fantastic at it. I made my high school’s graduation video, and I’ve made a couple short films for my classes while in undergrad. But I am by no means skilled.
I love studying Korean and learning about Korea. And I really love helping others learn, too. I created this blog to do that, and yet I’ve been doing an awful job lately (my last post is from May, seriously?). Time to change that.
I never wanted to make my blog personal. It was supposed to be a place of anonymity, the domain where I wrote about Korean and people who wanted to read about Korean could do so. But when I studied abroad, I opened it up, told some friends, some family. I even shared my post about the temple-stay on Facebook because I was so inspired, and that inspired other people to look into temple-stays.
Perhaps it’s time to be a bit more personal, do a bit more writing, share some videos, and invest myself. And invest in myself. Because I’m not sure what I want to do with Korean Studies, or International Studies, or the Creative Writing Minor I might be adding in my last year of undergrad. But I know what I don’t want to do, and that would be to waste my passion by doing nothing with it.
Do you ever pause and wonder why you’re doing something? What’s the point of continuing something? Maintaining focus and motivation while also keeping momentum is extremely difficult, and inability to do so can kill a passion if the passion isn’t strong enough to actually be called a passion. Continue reading →